Dunno why time always pass so fast sia... Before I knew it... It is already the last day of January liao.. And 6 more days to my dear and me 2nd yr anniversary le... Wow... Haha... But then again, time pass really slow for my dear and me... We always feel that we have been together for ages liao... Lol... Maybe in my heart, I cant wait to move out of my own hse... Cant wait to have a hse of my own... And of cos, cant wait to form a family of my own... Wahaha... Pls dun take it seriously... I say that becos I am tired... Wahaha...

3rd day of cny... So long nvr see my bear bear liao... Today finally back liao... But only have to wait till tml (or maybe thur? or fri? or weekends?) then can see my dear... Dear... I also wanna hug hug you... *blush*

Went hse visting again... Actually dont intend to go de... Cos I rather surf forum than go "sell my smile"... Stilll... I am left with no choice... But to accompany my mum go pai nian... Dont understand why we still have to pai nian even though we have took their ang baos liao... Lol... find it so troublesome... Especially when we dun have our own private transport... Haiz... really sick of being so poor... Sometimes really will think that having a bf a few yrs older than me is better... Cos he can take care of me... And I need not worry abt money issues... Sounds rather materialistic right... That's life... That's how "real" the world is... No money you will suffer... No money pple will look down on you...

But I still very glad to meet you dear... Cos I know you will make it big one day de... And can provide me good life one hor... Wahaha... Actually I also dont dare to expect too much... Now learning to be 知足常乐... Its hard... But I will try... Gotta sign off le... Gonna watch S.H.E vcd liao... Lol..

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!!! The Dog year has arrived... 恭喜恭喜... 万事如意 and many happy returns... Wishing all pple good health, good wealth and good luck all year round... Hmmm.. sounds a bit 俗气 hor.. But... Think most pple would want all these de.. Lol...

Seems that the cny is getting more and more boring year after year...Too routine le...Does anyone share the same feeling as me??? 1st day go visit granny's hse... "smile" and "get in touch" with relatives/cousins... Collect angbao... Go my Da Bo's hse sit sit a while... Follow by go to my grandma's hse... And everything repeats again... So boring isn't it... Kinda sick of it eh... And the thing is my dear not in Singapore somemore... Haiz... Feel so lonely... Dear... Wonder y the r/s between my cousins and me is like rifting more and more apart leh... Like there is no more common topics between us liao... Still remember when we are still young... We have a lot of things to say... Now... Only a "Hi... Wat ya doing now? How are you?"... And some relatives only see like at most twice a year (during cny and granny/grandma's birthday)... Though I know I've changed alot (in terms of looks and character) during the years.... Still... some relatives totally cant recognise me at all... Not as if i go do plastic surgery to change my whold face right? Anyway... what I wanna say is that cny is the same every year... One word.. Sianz...

The only thing that I am happy about is the ang bao... Wahaha.. realistic right.... Bo bian.. This is life... Somemore money, to me now, is very very impt... Without it... I cannot fulfil my dreams... Without it... I will die... Lol... Talking about money... Seems like this year the ang bao money like shrinks sia... Last year still have at least 300... This year only 220+ nia.... Hopefully after adding the remaining ang baos, the amount would be at least a better figure... Haha...

Dear... you know most of my relatives ask about you leh... All ask why you din come sia... The sad thing is when I say you went to m'sia 拜年... Their face sort of changed... Haiz... I know this is a normal reaction... Still... I cant help it but feel a bit sad... Why people have to use this kind of "look down" look on msia? Though me myself also dun like msia and some msians... But I din look down lorz... Haiz... Even my own family also like that... No matter how many times that I tried to explain... They still think.. You are a msian... Yes... I do admit I have that feeling at times... Cos no matter what... your roots are in msia... Lucky love has no boundaries... When love struck... There's nth you can do to stop you from loving right... Hehe... Oh ya.. Dear... You must take care of yourself ok...Try to drink more water.. Dont fall sick ok... I love you.... Going back to my grandma hse again liao.... Bye bYe..

Sianz... Super bored... Totally nth to do sia.. =X... In office now... but dun have things for me to do leh... Maybe now everyone holiday mood le... No much emails coming in... 2 more days to chinese new year liao... But how come I dun feel the mood sia... To me, as I grow older... chinese new year to me holds no more meaning le... In the past, when still young, I always look forward to cny... Cos there will be lots of goodies and also ang paos to take... And I can see alot of my relatives, chit-chat with them etc... Now... Its jus another public holiday... Though the thrill of getting ang pao and counting the total amount at the end of the day is there.... But... I dun feel excited leh...

Sad... every chinese new year, my dear will need to go back malaysia celebrate... Though he is singaporean... But becos his parents are malaysians, and most of his relatives all inside... that's y he need to go back... He asked me to go in with him... I also want leh... But how can wor... If go in, my parents and relatives sure scold me like hell... Haha.... maybe not scold la... Will say me and I will feel guilty... Nvm la... used to it can liao... Anyway not the 1st time ma... Somemore he only go in for 2-3 days nia... Very fast de... Lol... We already overcome the test of 1 month when he was in Taiwan liao... 2-3 days is chicken feet lor... Wahaha... Pls ignore me for my craziness... Lol... Hmm... Think i go do filing ba... At least I got things to do... wahaha...

Finished re-paint my room and changed my wardrobe yesterday... Been starting to paint on Friday... who knows the 5-litre paint is not enough... Maybe the previous purple is too dark le ba... End up I still need to buy another 2-litre to touch up... Haha... And the 2-litre is of lighter shade of yellow.... Lol... So my room got two shades of yellow... Cool... Haha... Nvr did I expect painting can be so tedious... Though the effect at the top not really nice... At least we had done our best liao... We are not professionals afterall... Now, my room looks newer and brighter... I think now it looks more 'cheerful' instead of gloomy le... Hehe...

When packing my stuff into the new wardrobe... I realize... I got so many things... Clothes and bags hold the most space... And the things from my dear... My IT books that I bought during poly days (Think its time for me to sell them away le... Geez)... My photo album and my miscellaneous things... Gosh.... Too much things le... Lucky now I know how to throw away unwanted and useless things... Haha... Threw away all my poly notes, test papers etc, 2 bags of clothes and 1 bag of bags... But... I still have 3 bags of bag and many things left... Lol...

After all hard work... My body couldnt take it anymore... Down with serious running nose, sore throat, body-ache and plus my gastric... Guess this is the result of not exercising... Hahaha... Well... I think quite worth it la... At least there is a new look of my room for the chinese new year... =)

*Sigh* I really spent alot this month sia... I really tried to control le... But then... some things just cant be avoided... Re-paint, change of wardrobe to me, is just a small way to pamper myself and also getting prepared for the cny... I told my dear... Nxt mth... I will control myself and try not to overspent... I think I can do it... Ganbatte!!!

Late le... My medicine started to take effect le... Feeling drowsy now... Good night...

Haha... Everything was fine!!! Yeah... The CNB issue is over... Lol... Nth happen... No fines... No charges... Only a verbal warning... Nah.. Not warning... Should say a reminder... Haha... Been thinking and worrying about this for the past few weeks... Haha... Finally... It's off my chest... Hmm.. my england sounds abit weird eh... But never mind la... I understand can liao...

My dear and gf are right... I really think and worry too much le... I shouldnt worry abt the unnecessary... Haha... But cannot blame me also... I've got eeyore traits... Pessimistic is me... Always have this belief inside me... I wont give myself too much hopes... Cos i know... The greater my hopes... the greater my disappointments... So I rather be pessimistic and think of the worst case... At least, when things really turn out bad... I am prepared... And if things turn out good... I know I will be happy... Anyway... thanks dear... thanks zh... thanks for worrying for me also... And sorry to make you (two) worried... Glad everything's fine now...

After this, I learn good le (学乖）... Haha... bth my own english... Paiseh... Cos I dunno the word for it... Ya.. i learn good le... Will really really pay more attention and be more careful... Once is enough...

Today considered or supposed to be an unlucky day... Cos today is Friday the 13th... And my sis called me early in the morning when I'm at work with a gan jiong voice... 1st thing I thought is that i forget to apply leave to paint my room... who knows... she jus called to say today is friday the 13th... scare me out of wits sia... Anyway... extract the following information from the forum that i frequent... on why Friday the 13th is considered unlucky...

*~quote~*

Paraskevidekatriaphobia: Fear of Friday the 13th(Last updated November 16, 2005)
The abstract of a study published in the British Medical Journal in 1993
entitled "Is Friday the 13th Bad for Your Health?" With the aim of mapping "the
relation between health, behaviour, and superstition surrounding Friday 13th in
the United Kingdom," its authors compared the ratio of traffic volume to the
number of automobile accidents on two different days, Friday the 6th and Friday
the 13th, over a period of years. Incredibly, they found that in the region
sampled, while consistently fewer people chose to drive their cars on Friday the
13th, the number of hospital admissions due to vehicular accidents was
significantly higher than on "normal" Fridays.

Their conclusion:"Friday 13th is
unlucky for some. The risk of hospital admission as a result of a transport
accident may be increased by as much as 52 percent. Staying at home is
recommended."

Paraskevidekatriaphobics — people afflicted with a morbid,
irrational fear of Friday the 13th — must be pricking up their ears just now,
buoyed by seeming evidence that their terror may not be so irrational after all.
But it's unwise to take solace in a single scientific study — the only one of
its kind, so far as I know — especially one so peculiar. I suspect these
statistics have more to teach us about human psychology than the ill-fatedness
of any particular date on the calendar. The Most Widespread Superstition The
sixth day of the week and the number 13 both have foreboding reputations said to
date from ancient times, and their inevitable conjunction from one to three
times a year portends more misfortune than some credulous minds can bear. Some
sources say it may be the most widespread superstition in the United States.
Some people won't go to work on Friday the 13th; some won't eat in restaurants;
many wouldn't think of setting a wedding on the date.

*~unquote~*

Actually... I din realised it until my sis told me... well... maybe Friday 13 only applicable in US ba... To me... if a person is suay on that day or week or mth or year... whether it is Friday 13 or not... he/she will still be suay de... Just like me... So... dun believe too much in this kind of things... but then again.. some things are better to believe still.... lol... I know i am contradicting myself again...

Today is the day... Went for the so-called interview... Never did i expect it would be so long.. 3hrs... 10am to 1pm... totally missed my lunch... and 3 pages of statement being taken down... a scary experience i would say...I thought i can handle this interview smoothly... But I was wrong... everything was my fault... i have no other ways to defend myself... bo bian.. what can i do or say to convince the officer that all these are just mis-communication... nth but to accept that is my fault... yes.... i am at fault... cos of my negligence... i blame no one... but myself... haiz... this yr definitely a unlucky year for me...

maybe i would jus endure another few more mths until my dear ord... after tt... maybe i would quit and find another job... like my dear says... this job is scary... cos i nvr know when things will happen unexpectedly... and being always so blur... me too think that this job is not for me... maybe its time for me to start my job hunting... but on the other hand... if i just quit becos of this... this will show how irresponsible i am... and i am not able to take this kind of prob... den how can i learn? haiz... really in a dilemna... really confused and stress now...

hope everything will be fine in the end... hope nth happen to me or my company... hope i can really get out of this mess... hope the horoscope predictions at bugis is true... people... please pray for me...

Went walk walk with dear and ah le today... singapore too small le.. seems like everytime we go out.. sure go either bugis or orchard or douby ghaut de... think ah le also sian liaoz... and everytime is standard de... we jus walk aimlessly... ah le also la... din say where he wanna go... so me and my dear jus anyhow bring him lorz.... At first when we meet, i still feeling ok... then dunno y... after playing billard at cuppage... my mood suddenly feel very sianz... me din even have the mood to eat sia.. 1st time only eat the kakiage rice burger without the rice... ate 1st mouth already feel like throwing up liao.. maybe think of what will happen tml den i sort of no appetite liao... Haiz... So fast.. another day going to pass liao... feeling more and more uneasy liao... Dunno wat will happen tml sia... Really stressed out already... Haiz... Why good things nvr happen to me sia... really really hope i can safely go thru the interview without any probs... so worried that the company or me will be fined sia... haiz... how i wish time goes slower...

Happy Hari Raya Haji everyone... Finally a public holiday... Intend to slp till 11.30am den go compass pt to sell off my bag... 人算不如天算... my manager called me at 10.30am, to ask me abt the prob at work... Being a light sleeper.. of cos i cant get back to slp liao... tried to slp... who knows.. 10.45am... he called again... Haiz... Thought i can dun think abt this today... cos this prob has been bothering me for few days liao... who knows... Haiz... i really hope i can dun think abt it sia... but bo bian lehz.. the prob jus keep coming back... and abt my left eyelid twitching... my gf says if i choose not to believe it... then it wont happen... i dun wan to believe de... but... things are jus too "coincidence" (or coincident???) liao... Super low mood now... Hopefully later when go out with dear and ah le... i wont spoil their mood sia... time to wake them up le... update later....

Nth to do... been surfing the net and forum whole day from the moment i woke up... wanted to clear unwanted stuff from my wardrobe... but dun have the mood to do so... clear liao also cannot start painting... abit sianz... so come here blog... Alot of things in mind... very messy... Plan to take leave tml de so that i can have long weekends... but things just dont go my way... Haiz... There are things to be done in office and have to face the music on wed... haiz... my dear keep telling me not to think about it.... but i have no control lorz... scared, nervous,panick... dunno wat will happen after wed sia... really hope time can pass slowly... to make matters worse... my left eyelid still keep twitching... continously for many days liao... hope this is just the signs of me not enough slp... arrgghh... feeling so terrible inside... y like tt sia??? hate this feeling... nvr feel like tt before... how i wish i....

Recently super duper suay... so use red color for my post... hope i will heng heng... haha... lame me... Haiz... dunno why... Starting of the year already bad things happen liao... Can't imagine what more things will happen for the next 11 mths... Haiz... So many things to bother and worry about... Wanted to try to be optimistic also cannot... Maybe i dun have alot of determination ba... Already feel life sucks in the beginning year liao... Haiz... Feel like blogging all my thoughts... But dunno where and how to start... All i know is i very unlucky... Left eyelid keep twitching for the past few days... So worried that more bad things will happen and the trouble in hand will be worse... Went to Si Ma Lu Temple pray today... Hope everything will be fine for me sia... Maybe i got too much sins in the past liao... So now is payback time ba... Ya... I know i think too much already... Keep forgetting that one of my new year resolutions is to be optimistic... I will try to... But sometimes things just go haywire...

Haiz... Wat happen sia... Y my blog seems to have so much problems? Yesterday was fine leh... Today my tagboard cannot be displayed... Arrgghh... So irritating... Is it my script problem or blogspot problem or the what... 气死人 le... Now want to add new things also dare not liao... Haiz... Better go solve my prob now... if not i can close my blog liao...

Today is my 1st day at work of 2006... Almost late sia... Lucky still in time... haha... Still in holiday mood lehz... Feel super exhausted... totally worn out... no words can desribe how tired i am... really K.O le... all thanks to my blog... give me so many problems... been battling it with my sis for 2 nights... haha... finally won but with minor injuries... lol... see? i am getting more and more cranky... this is the results of lack of sleep...

haiz... wanted to sleep early today but i am still here writing my blog... actually nth to write also la... jus wanna blog down my thoughts... feeling rather frustrated.... dunno why... maybe this week is closing week ba... and plus there are many things in my head... my new year resolution is to be a brand new me... i dun wanna be me again... i rather dislike the me now... i dun wan to be 沉默的羔羊(silent goat) anymore... well... easier said than done... I know i have changed in some aspects myself ever since sep 2003, but, i still find it not enough... At times, i will still back out and keep my thoughts deep within... I really envy those people who can say whatever they want without worrying... I want to be like them also... But can I? I dunno... I can only say... I will try my best... Hope i can achieve my goal... Wish me luck =)

Finally... After so many days of doing and changing of templates la, scripts la... alignments la... my blog finally is up and is workable... lol.. except for a very minor thing... that is my blog needs to be viewed in "Unicode(UTF-8)" to be able to view chinese words... i dunno y also... if you happen to know the reason behind it... pls let me know ok? hehe...

Went Ikea today... Wanna to refurnish my room... Wanna repaint, wanna change my wardrobe... At first thought there is a shuttle bus from amk mrt... Who knows... this service is no longer available... Well... me and my dear bo bian have to take mrt lorz... Anyway, saw two wardrobes that i somehow like... both fulfill my requirements and the impt thing is they are cheap... Lol... Hmm... After "consulting" my sis and dear... think better get the cheaper one... Wahaha...

After Ikea, we went Tiong Bahru Plaza for our movie... We watched Narnia... Rayner said this show ok nia... Not really nice... But me and my dear find it nice leh... This is a fantasy movie... Somehow like a RPG game... Haha... So cute... still got potion to heal the wounds... Lol... Overall... I rate this movie 8/10... Quite worth it... You may not like this if you are not into this kind of movie... =)

Enough of rest days now... Its time to go back work... Tml will be another battle for me... Haha... Have to do closing liao... abit sian lehz... Hope this closing will be a smooth one... Ganbatte!!!

Happy New Year everyone... Happy Birthday to frens who are born on 1 January… A new year, a new beginning... Everything starts afresh... Hope this year will be a better one...

Went countdown with my dear at Esplanade yesterday… Before that, we meet his fren, rayner and his gf for movie at GV Marina… Watched King Kong… This is a nice show… Especially the part when King Kong fought with the dinosaurs… Wahaha… And the most interesting part is I saw my dear so engrossed that he thought he was one of the victims inside… Wahaha… So cute… Opps… After watching the show… I wonder it would be how nice if my bf is King Kong… Haha… I mean the way King Kong protects the gal… Oh… Love is something that is so incredible that can tame a beast down… Lol…

By the time the show ends, it was already about 10.30pm liao… we went Giant to buy mineral water and some snacks to eat… Cos my xiao zhu hungry le… Who knows we lost sight of rayner and his gf… Tried calling him many times but no avail… I suppose by that time, the network is already down… So bo bian, we went to Esplanade ourselves without them… As expected… a lot of people are already there… So packed and squeezy and sweaty… Yucks… But it was fun… Wahaha… Waited for about 15min or so… “POP POP POP…” the firework starts… Wow… Fascinating… Super nice sia… Really can feel the atmosphere in there… Cool… Every couple around me starts to hug and kiss their partner… Wishing each other happy new year… Except for me… -.-''' ... Cos my dear is busy recording the video of the fireworks… I still have to initiate for a kiss… But he only gave me a small and quick peck on my lips… Humph… Should have ignore him for the whole night… Wahaha… After the fireworks, we tried to walk back… It was soooo squeezy… I was being stepped twice on my foot… Gosh…

In the end, we spent 20min… maybe more than that to walk to the mrt… Thinking back, we are quite stupid… listen to one security guard to walk another way instead of the direct way… All that security guard’s fault… Haha… At the station… it was also packed… Then me decided to take to Marina Bay and from there to Ang Mo Kio… We wanted to catch the train on the opposite side and my dear ran so fast… “Door closing…” The doors are closing and phew… Lucky I am skinny enough… and I managed to get in… Haha… the scene was hilarious… My dear says I am wonder woman… Lol... We keep laughing at my swift movements…

1.30am… Reached amk… My xiao zhu hungry again… Haha… Had our supper at S11… And this is the 1st time we walked hand in hand from amk central back to his hse… Oh… What a day… This is the day that I will never forget… Geez…