went k-lunch with sis today.. yeah.. just the two of us... but by the time we reached at hougang plaza... it was already 11.30am liao.. wasted half an hour.. all becos we waited for very long for the cab.. and end up we took bus... -.-... dunno wat luck we have... got alot of cabs.. but one cab wan to stop... most on call or busy.. stupid leh...

we keep adding songs to the playlist... and everytime we want to add the song we want... the screen always prompt us that the playlist if full.. lousy eh... haha... we ordered another drink to extend another hour... and we realized that the k-lunch food now sucks eh... last time still got a few varieties de with a range of prices... now only fish and chicken nia.. and price is $10+++.. somemore not nice de.. at first we sing normally... then towards the end... we are not singing liao.. we are almost screaming... haha... cos very sian liao...

after singing, sis say she wanna eat dim sum when we walked past a coffee shop... so we sit down and ordered a few... after eating... jalan jalan at hougang mall.. and sis say she wanted to eat ice-cream... jialat.. go out with sis she keep eating... no wonder she is growing horizontally...

went gelare and she ordered double chocolate (normal chocolate and white chocolate) waffle and brownie.. sinful sia... my bo liao pics.. after eating, we went separate ways... she went to attend dunno wat party... and me... go home lor...

watched the vcd/dvds that sis rented.. watched madagascar... yes I know this movie very long liao.. but bo bian... nth to do u see..

now really nth to do liao.. so sianz... dunno wan to meet dear for dinner or not.. sianz..

credit to leong hwee.. thanks for sharing this video...



nvr know lion is so affectionate... the man also brave.. if is me.. I sure run away de... lol...

伤风 is considered 小病... so you wont bother... dont even care.. you want to wait till I lie in the hosiptal bed then considered 大病? now then I know "how much" you care for me.... now then I see your true colors... you 伤风 before... you shld know the terrible feeling... maybe to you is chicken feet... just a 小病 ma... then hopefully my 小病 turn into some tumor then become cancer... best is if I only have a few days left to live... by then, maybe you will care...

saw this two rabbits when I reached home.. its cute lor... asked my mama and she said papa found them somewhere... they look super skinny lor.. not like the normal chubby rabbits I've seen before.. dunno which idiot left these 2 rabbits behind.. . irresponsible leh...

the moment I walked past... these 2 fellows "jump up"... I guess they are hungry ba.. I feed them veggies and carrot... they snatched from each other.. machiam a few days no eat liao.. ke lian lor.. they just keep eating and eating... I dunno whether this is the norm for rabbits or not...

my meimei ask me... why they keep eating de? are they like goldfish (which only have 3 seconds memory)? I answered I dunno... nvr had rabbits before...

feel like keeping them sia.... but the thot of no one in the house has time to take care of them hold me back... the hse is basically empty in the day... everyone went work/sch... and who has the time to bathe them also? I dont wan history to repeat.. I dont wan to see them die just like my hamster... I dont wan to regret...

guess tomorrow ask papa to send them away ba.. dunno where to send also...

arrghh.. dun wan to think anymore.. my headache is back... last night pain all night... no matter wat position I sleep... it hurts like hell.. so basically nvr sleep at all... shit... why get sick this time? no matter what.. I must endure till closing finish...

时间能冲淡一切。。 这句活说得一点也没错。。。 两个人在一起久了，感情也慢慢淡化了。。。但感情淡化时，所有的事都变得理所当然。。。也很理所当然的，彼此也开始不会去在意另一半的感受。。。因为认定对方会了解的。。。沟通少了，慢慢的，感情也开始出现裂痕。。。时间久了，两个人在一起的感觉已经变成习惯。。。 爱似乎已经不存在了。。。两个人也忘了当初在一起的甜蜜感觉。。。到底还在一起是为了真的爱对方，而在一起，还是因为太习惯对方，而在一起呢？如果感情世界能像童话般那么甜蜜，那么单纯，那该有多好。。。

arrggh.. damn irritating... keep sneezing non-stop... I knew it.. this morning when I woke up, feel the inside of my nose very itchy and my forehead feverish... shld have known the signs... tot of taking half day de.. but then wan to save leaves for my taiwan trip next mth... expected... the moment reached office... start sneezing like hell liao...

辛苦 sia... already used up 3 packets of tissue liao... sneeze till my eyes half close liao... stupid... arrghh... how I wish I can cut off my nose... =(

spent the first half of the day at dear's hse surfing net... though changed to Vaio... I still feel my vaio is much slower than dear's macbook... I think dear can shut down and restart 2-3 times while waiting for my vaio to start loading.. -.-.. I must up my ram liao... hopefully I can do so in a few mths time...

went amk hub with dear and le... most shops are open except for the level 3 and level 4... still.. quite alot of pple... 3 of us bought a lot of 小吃 along the way... milo toast from toastbox, taiwan delicacy like mee sua, the big chicken cutlet and fried mushrooms.. me also bought 2 doughnuts and 2 cups of fruit juice...

we saw kim ng and my 小时候的偶像，周初明.. haha.. me a little excited.. haha... from young I like to see 周初明's shows... till now.. he still the same.. like no change leh... me wanna take photo of him but too many pple liao... keep kenna blocked by pple... managed to take some shots.. but not very nice.. mostly in dear and le's phone..

dear bought me this t-shirt from top20... $9.90 only... haha... dear.. next time buy more expensive clothes for me ok? haha...

woke up at 12.30pm... super shag... slept at 3.30am last night.. cos I am editing photo to submit at qi's friendster...me dunno the time until I finish editing then realize.. gosh...

think zh misunderstand me... she tot I last min back out cos I told her I am not going to the ktv that minghua organize... -.-... me recently dunno why very easy to piss off... so sort of shoot back saying that I already told minghua abt it last week... seeems that she dun really believe.. anyway...I cant do anything also... I cant simply please everyone... haiz... everything is so fragile...

so faster get prepared... becos of the limited time I have... bo bian but to take cab to Kembangan to meet dear... together went back to the shop and collect the warranty card for my vaio... and went to tampines eat long john for lunch... not purposely went tampines just to eat.. cos me these few days keep going to town area.. abit sianz you see...

jalan jalan... bought tickets for Mr. Bean's Holiday at CS... gosh... so many pple... we actually bought the tickets for 9.30pm slot 4hrs in advance... cant believe it...

since we have a lot of time to spare.. we took train to chinatown... survey the prices to Taiwan... seems that the prices did not change much at all.. still kinda exp eh..

then to Dhoby Ghaut.. cos dear wanna buy mouse.. but end up din buy anything... went back CS.. had our dinner at the food court and proceed to watch movie...
we dont really feel that Mr.Bean's Holiday is worth it... yes.. it is funny no doubt... and the cinema is fully occupied... but we find that it is lack of surprises.. quite standard... compared to Johnny English... I think that Mr. Bean movie is not very good.. but it will definitely make you laugh..

dear bought me this strawberry eeyore from Kiddy Palace... super cute leh.. haha... and myself... I bought this cutey chick... simply wind it and it will move... super cute lor... haha...

happy 23rd birthday to xinyi!!!

wow... so fast another year liao.. still remember I got wish you in my blog last year also.. haha... though I dunno whether you are reading my blog or not... still hope you are well and enjoy your day.... take care and hope to meet you soon...

and congrats to my dear cousin, qi... happy ROM!!! haha... now you are officially mrs. siew liao... and yeah... next year cny got angbao from you liao...

meet lingshan and yuzhen at cityhall and had lunch at the foodcourt... and after that went to The Adelphi to look for qi...

by the time we reach there... qi already had her foundation on.. and lucky... still in time to take her unglam photo... lol... 3 of us watched the whole process of qi transform into a princess... from make-up to hairdo to her wearing her ROM gown...

wow... 3 of us suddenly feel like getting married sia... haha... and of cos 3 of us took some 自恋 pics... lol... after qi is done, 3 of us took photo with her... 是美的啰!!!... hmm... dunno how I look like when I am wearing my wedding gown... *dreaming*

when we accompany qi out of Adelphi... everyone turn to look at her... "oh you are a bride... beautiful... " one ang mo said that when he saw qi... can see that qi super paiseh... lol...

at the registry office... our relatives woo and ahh when they saw qi.. and almost everyone comment that qi look like a little princess... she really look like one lor.. *dreaming again*

needless to say... alot of photos were taken... I guess qi must be very tired... cos alot of flashes from the camera... and she has to keep smiling... witness the whole solemnization.. so sweet... qi look very blissful.. especially her hubby kissed her.. oh....

took more photos after the solemnization.. and I feel that I have the potential to be a bride's PA... haha... helping qi to hold her gown cos her gown is too long... and I scared that she will trip herself over... keeping her hp... making sure everything goes well for her.. haha... and the best part is... I think I have the photography potential as well... cos I took a few photos for the couple and machiam look like those wedding photos... lol.. not very pro la... but the feeling is there you see... haha... maybe I can work as assistant to the wedding planner.. wahaha...

too bad it was raining... else I think I can take more "pro" wedding pics lor... haha...

dun wan to be so naggy... anyway.. had our dinner at a vegetarian restuarant in orchard shopping center... after that went walk walk with lin, yuzhen, yuhui and mama....

everytime I shop with my 3 cousins... I feel so... cheap... kind of out of place and somehow just cant blend in with them.... cos I mostly buy my clothes at ThisFashion, COAX and Alano etc... in short.... I only buy cheap stuff.. maybe that's why lin always make fun of me... dunno why I cant seem to appreciate clothings in those "branded" shops... to me... they are too expensive even though the prices are affordable ($30 onwards).. but it was fun though... especially with lin... and I learn alot from her (even though I 不舍得 to buy)...

who knows.. maybe one day I will have a 180 degrees change... maybe I can be like them too... haha...

will upload other photos another time... server is too slow liao.. meanwhile the pictures at the studio...

my bad... bought 2 tops at ThisFashion... hehe.. took the photo while trying... cos I cant decide which one to buy... mms dear for his opinion... and dear say both are nice.. so I bought both... lol...

purposely buy for qi's ROM tomorrow... lol.. I know I am hiao la... although me got other white tops... but then... gals will be gals... cant resist shopping.. especially when there is 30% discount... wahaha....

I like the butterfly sleeves.... nice...
white tube top with small ribbon... ok... me really gonna try to cut down on shopping liao... but starting from april... haha...

bought 2 pairs of earrings during lunch time.. just got attracted to them... very cheap also.. haha..

no time to do editing... very nice of dear to accompany me to kembangan to buy my laptop even though he is down with flu... thanks dear... hehe...

and yes.. finally bought my new laptop... my vaio.. vgn-c22gh/w.. bought it at quite a cheap price also... retail price $1,999... me bought at $1,830 with sony carry case... dunno whether is considered cheap or wat.. but I considered it within my budget la... wanted to buy the black one... but one thing I dont like abt the black one is that it has a stripe of brown in between... if it is all black.. I definitely will buy black de..

though the label indicate seashell white... me and dear still think that it is silver...
free carrying case... alot better than my previous fujitsu case...
picture from sony.. the black de..

but hor.. now I abit regret... shld buy another model... vgn-c25g/l... so much nicer sia.. but the price also nice.. and more regrets when sis say dear's macbook is nicer... even my mama also like the macbook... =(

I super like the blue one... very nice lor.. too bad.. me no money...

vista and xp abt the same... just that vista's interface is alot nicer but alot of security... troublesome eh... whenever copy one file from one folder to another folder will prompt me.... abit irritating eh... and the font size is either small or big.. abit sianz... hope I can figure out how to use it my way..

ok... I am officially broke liao.. really broke le... a big hole in my pockets... have to eat bread everyday liao...

our dinner at cavana, white sands... dunno why my curry chicken noodle turn out so er xin.. lazy to edit also... but its tasy de lor.. haha..
dear's teriyaki beef noodle...

This is a true story, taken from "Family" (dictated by LD, edited by LSX, translated by SaFe).
Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greeneries. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother."

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. And whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people's habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, and I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it.

Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it." There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle.

Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother's facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slammed her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me:"LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feelings of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed:"LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. And just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call.

I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have no appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life. Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible, you should go and see a doctor."

The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him.

He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.

At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby:"Darling, I am having your baby!", and to have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said:"Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people.That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed towards the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside.As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarrelled, if... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl I didn't know sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home, he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me. Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him had vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them,"No, I will not." I insisted on having this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait for a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.

"LD, you are pregnant?" Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away,so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had really originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.

In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, its unintentional; for him, totally intentional. I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now,what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.

From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart. Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room.

At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time; I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us?

Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born. Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me,but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing,
but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it is like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brows, throughout the journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did? He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in, his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.

Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son, and me, his eyes teared with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his. I had thought that I would never shed any tears for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer? Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now.... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestions...Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you throughout your life journey. And to be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..." From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me: "My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby... My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me... These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give are all written on the packaging..."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..."

He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who love me the most in this world is gone forever.

The end...

probably you have read this story before.. I did.. in fact I've read a few times... and yet... this story still make my eyes watery..

communication is really impt... I think everyone of us has take communication for granted... very often... we will think... "aiya... he/she will know what I want and how I feel de..." or "no need to explain anything... he/she will understand de... "

yes I admit.. I have this thinking most of the time.. thats why when dear or anyone else did sth that is not within my "expectations", I feel so upset... I feel so disappointed.. keep thinking why like that...

I suppose this story gives us a reminder that we need to express our feelings out.. and not assume or keep anything...

and there is another moral of this story... dont live with in-laws!!!

see... that's the problem living with in-laws.. your own comfort life will change... just becos have to 迁就 another person... have to adapt to another person's lifestyle... end up everyone so upset... I rather be named as unfillial and selfish than to make everyone so 辛苦 lor...

me already cannot stand my own family liao.. let alone living with partner's family... no way man... I'll still insist in my thinking... I wont live in in-laws after marriage.. if really need... then I rather dont get married.. I rather stay single... of cos, there are some gd pts living with in-laws... like they can help us look after the kids... but then like that machiam like using them... not very good lor... so I cant find any gd points abt living with in-laws...

I think too far and too much liao.. and one thing for sure... I am too bored in office that I blog such a long post...

forgot to post this.. hehe.. dear bought me this eeyore from minitoons on friday.. yeah... another new member....
17 Mar 2007, Saturday:

had a mini outing with paternal cousins (probaby a "hen's night" for qi... lol...) ... before that, had lunch with dear at the coffeeshop near his workplace.. while we were walking out of his office... his colleagues, eddy and liwen suddenly jump out of nowhere... me chua tio... jumped and screamed... stupid eddy and liwen laugh till they pengz... humph... remember this... eddy.. I will pay you back de.. lol...

our lunch... but I don't find it nice.. cos I don't like black pepper.. yucks... dear's 牛南拉面 not bad though... not very filling lunch... a little expensive also... everything is expensive to me.... cos me really broke... I need money... wahaha...

dear help me bring back my laptop to his home and I go meet qi at orchard first... our agreed meeting time is 3pm... me and qi reached first... the two sisters, yuhui and yuzhen still at home when we called them at 3pm... -.-'''

anyway, me and qi went walk walk at FEP.. went COAX again to find yingying... we stayed there quite long.. but end up din buy anything... yuhui and yuzhen meet us and 4 of us went shopping... I think we shop in FEP for a few hrs... went in every shop... and everyone of us is helping qi to find her very high heels for her ROM... cos her husband-to-be is very tall... lol..

we shopped till super tired... everyone except me has some shopping bags in the hands... me wanted to buy... but no money.. so only can window shop... we took a short rest at breadtalk in wisma... talked abt bf, abt work, abt life over our tea/frappe... nice feeling...

had our dinner at lucky plaza... dunno why, I dont feel any hunger at all... so only ordered white carrot cake... when we almost finish our dinner, lingshan joined us... then we walked to party world... and lin joined us... 6 of us keep taking photo... and we even took a group photo our own.. lol... lucky the tv is big and tall enough... had a lot of fun.... laughters, screamings... we even had our tiny-winy "clubbing" at our room... if I am not wrong abt the title, it should be "It's My Life"... me and lingshan basically just screamed thru the song.. yes.. we screamed.. not sing... haha... lin and yuhui stand up and dance machiam in the dance floor.. qi and yuzhen as audience... haha... fun sia...

we sang for abt 4 hrs.. cant seem to be enough eh... we still have a lot of songs to sing... but stupid partyworld just shut the system off when time's up... =(

sorry.. I think I edit this till too small liao..

me shared cab with lingshan, qi and lin... went dear's hse sleep...

18 Mar 2007, Sunday:
me reached dear's hse at 12mn... lol... I think I woke dear up.. end up he so energetic.... and dunno what is going thru dear's mind... gan jiong spider leh... he actually went to buy laptop in the middle of the night... poor me have to accompany him...

we took cab to yishun... check the macbook and dear bought it... took cab home... I think I keep nagging while on our way to and fro... haha... I think I was really tired... once reached dear's hse at 1.45am... me totally K.O... but I remember I was mumbling some things... hmm... forget also.. probably sharing with dear what happen at the ktv ba...

woke up almost 11am... the moment I open my eyes, I saw dear playing with his macbook... -.-

1pm: packed my laptop and went home to bathe... dunno why the moment I reached home, I feel so nua... do everything slowly... bathe slowly, dry hair slowly, make up slowly...

together with mama and sis, we went city hall meet dear and le... 5 of us took the free shuttle bus to convention hall... proceed to level 4.. and start our food feast...

along the way, eat and eat... lol.. thats our purpose for coming here... I think we ate too much... eat alot of things... and mama bought alot of tibits as well.. haha... after eating, we separate ways with mama and sis..

dear and le rest at the open area... see how nua they are... shows that they are really full sia... lol...

then, from convention hall, we walked to bugis... le said that he still remember the gal that show us the way how to walk from suntec to bugis... and that gal is my "ex-gf"... zhenhui.. haha... le insisting in walking the same path that zhenhui showed us... haha... I threatened le that I will tell jj... lol..

as usual, walk walk... bought screen protector for my 7390.. went SLS to see more laptop.. but almost every shops closed early eh... so we decided to go home... cos dear say got pple wanna buy my laptop...

took train and separate our ways with le, who is going to fetch jj from work...

the moment reach home, I chop chop on my laptop.. wait for it to boot up first.. cos it is soooooooooooooo slow....

the person who wanna buy is gan jiong spider as well as a gd bargainer... keep bargaining... and yeah.. sold my laptop to him... but somehow, I dont feel happy leh... dear say probably I dont have another laptop yet.. headache... when I have my compaq.. I so scared that I cant sell it off.. cos the specs too lousy liao.. now... sold off liao.. me have to consider which laptop to buy... shld I pay by installment or full... haiz... really headache sia...

after that, watched the charity show... and "just in time" to see reverend climbing up the building... my mama so worried... and unfeeling me... I feel that it is so fake... well... ok.. he really climb and is panting throughout... but I still wont feel anything... yes... I am black-hearted... I feel that it is just a show to make pple feel touched...

to me.. a monk shld be free of desires... he shld not be bothered by the amount pple donate... and the more he shld not have mediacorp to organise this kind of charity show... if pple really have the 慈悲之心 or really feel that the patients really need help... pple will donate willingly... and not see the reverend acting like spiderman then donate.. then the thoughts of donation is not for the patients liao... but sympathy for the reverend...

I know I may kenna shoot by many pple.. well.. but thats how I feel... I am black-hearted and I am already pre-booked a suite at the level 18 liao... so its ok..

finally finished blogging abt my weekend... I wonder how will my manager and GM react when they know I've been blogging during working hrs... lol..

very tired...


in short.. had lunch at Sakae... survey the price of laptops around city area... we are spoilt with choices... and of cos the prices made our head even bigger... how good it is, if we can pay by installment at funan... and why courts and harvey norman carry so limited models...


even after we reached home.. both of us still think which laptop to buy... and me hopfully can sell off my starhub laptop also...


another week to payday... hope it comes soon.. cos I am really broke... how I wish it rain money tomorrow when I wake up... lol... money money.. I love money... wahaha..


that's how much we had eaten today at Sakae...
my our zi lian pics.. gosh.. I look really fat in the face..
my buys at Watsons... been searching for fasio products in every Watsons I know.. finally found it... simply love the make-up remover...
and got a free bear keychain once you spent $20 or above at Watsons.. so cute..