I am still recovering from it... I tried to stay happy... I tried not to think about the sad things... But think I failed... I just failed... Suddenly i thought of my 21st bday celebration 3mths back... When I recalled back... It was so pathetic... Friends who attended my party... I can count them with my 10 fingers and there are still remaining... Always wanted to have a memorable birthday... Yes it is memorable... But a sad one... It really makes me ponder... Am I really such a lousy fren? So lousy that no one wants to attend my birthday party... I know its already over... But it is still a thorn in my heart... A forever thorn that will make my tears flow naturally... And yes I enjoyed myself at Taiwan with my dear... And my pri sch frens did give me a make up celebration... So what... I din get to enjoy with my frens on that day at all... Still can remember, the only ones that are enthusiatic are the uninvited relatives... If not for them, I think my party will be a total flop... Shit... why do i keep thinking abt it... Hate the feeling... How I wish I can forget everything... Really very upset...

Sorry folks... din mean to be so depressing everytime i blog... U know... I just cant help it... Maybe Voy (a net friend) was right... Its because of the environment I grew up and its because of the things that I have experienced that makes me like that... If not, I think I will be an optimistic and happy person... So at the end whose fault? And who should I blame? I dunno... All I know is that I am not happy living at all...